Today I started thinking about what it was going to be like to let Kennin and Grayson go stay at their dad's house for the weekend. I have no idea how I'm going to do this. It feels like my heart's being pulled away from my chest just thinking about it. The idea that I will have to do this for the next 15 years is unbelievable. I want so badly to act like a 2 year old and hold my babies close to me and refuse to share with him. And why should I have to share with him? I did all this work. I did every late night feeding, every diaper change, every doctor's appointment, sat with them every morning and watched cartoons, taught colors, and kissed every single owie. I know everything there is to know about these kids. Like how Kennin loves Spider Man and is such a tomboy but still cries when she gets her feelings hurt. And how Grayson is like a ninja and can sneak out of his bed and the only sign of him is the flash of a shadow through the hall. He doesn't know them.
How will I do this?
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